Cloudy, Rainy and Sick
So usually when I write something, I can't wait to get to the keyboard and start typing. I'm itching to get the words down so I can share my thoughts. But yesterday...it was sort of cold and rainy. And I have a cold. I'm coughing and not in a productive way, just in an annoying way. And my head hurts. And I can't find the scissors I like to use. And my husband is in EVERY room I go to, to get whatever it is I'm trying to get and well, it wasn't a good day yesterday. So I sat down at the end of that grouchy day and decided to look at the emails that had piled up while I ignored them all day. And there in amidst them were two daily devotionals that I receive. One is from the Lutheran Seminary. The other from Pastor Kerry Nelson. The Lutheran Seminary one follows the lectionary, but Pastor Kerry just goes his own way. The devotion from Pastor Kerry spoke of the story of Jesus and the disciples getting in a boat to cross the sea and a storm blows up of epic proportions. The boat and the people in it are panicked. Except one. Jesus is asleep and as they the disciples are bailing and weeping and wailing, one of them pokes their beloved rabbi and says, "don't you care?" I stopped reading at that point, because I thought to myself, "yeah? don't you care that I'm having a bad day and everything feels wrong and off track?" Of course in Luke, Jesus stands and rebukes the wind and rain and suddenly all is calm and quiet. But in my little corner of the world, it was still messy and turbulent. I wanted someone to stop the wind and rain. Someone to calm my fears. And for heavens sake, someone to calm my coughing!! Was that so much to ask? I didn't even finish the devotional. I turned off the iPad and went to bed, disgruntled, dismayed and waiting for the next cough.
I woke up this morning and the sun is out. I'm still coughing, but in a more productive way and I find I need my husband to help me figure some stuff out (and yes, I found the scissors where I left them). Jesus appeared in the boat with me, but not at the very second I hoped he would. He appeared in the everyday-ness of the sun shining, life progressing and a better outlook. Do I think he came specifically to me? Well, I don't know, but I do know that my faith helps me to take steps each day, sometimes forward, sometimes back. And that is what faith after all is all about. But I'm still coughing...could he maybe do something about that now?? Oh. well.